GAY MARRIAGE: BRING ON THE SLIPPERY SLOPE

The wingnuts hate gay marriage because they feel it will leave them no choice but to marry Tim Pawlenty. They all have gay crushes on Tim Pawlenty (or Michelle Bachman if they are female wingnuts) because they are all gay. It is a shame that they keep liberal gay people from getting married just because they want to have only extra-marital gay sex with Tim or Michelle.

Their stupidest argument against gay marriage is that it will lead to a slippery slope and we will end up with three-way marriages. This is in fact the best argument IN FAVOR of gay marriage. The three-way marriage is a great idea. Let’s say (purely hypothetically) that you’re on your second trophy wife. Let’s also say that she’s starting to let herself go. Naturally, you’re starting to scope out your next TW. Let’s say (once again, this is purely hypothetical) that you’ve identified an excellent candidate. The trouble is, the timing may not be quite right for getting rid of the old TW. A transitional period of two TWs would be ideal. This would allow you the joys of a new TW while humanely allowing the old TW an occasional taste. Everybody wins! And that’s just why the wingnut monkeys are against it.

I Am Also Not An Evil Little Gay Man

After Anders sentenced me to a diversity refresher course, I'm not allowed to say who is, but here are seven reasons that I am not:

7. I am six feet tall.
6. I am not part of the right wing noise machine.
5. I've fathered far more than one child, with multiple women.
4. I like heterosexual pornography.
3. I play hockey.
2.I like to visit strip clubs with exotic female dancers.
1. Did I mention that I am six feet tall?

Nevertheless, we should allow evil little gay men to marry each other.

I AM NOT A MONKEY

I am so not a monkey. Here are the top seven things that prove I am not a monkey.

7. I am not part of the right wing noise machine.
6. I don’t eat dinner with people.
5. I rarely post on my blog.
4. I hate the daisy chain right wing noise machine.
2. I am descended from poor Irish sod busters.
1. I hate bananas.